just rambling.

I would say my life is basically normal. I live with my parents,( which can be considered abnormal because a lot of families are being broken by divorce..) my sister, my grandma, and my dog. I love school, I love learning..and I'm in love with every single one of my friends. If you know anything about me, it's that I generally believe that everyone has a good heart. I know that I try to. This post is going a little bit deeper into a side of me that I don't really like to talk about. It's the insecurities side of me. Now you're thinking, oh boy..a 17 year old girl who thinks she's ugly...here we go. That's the thing, have you ever listened? Once? At all? For a minute? You'd learn a lot from girls like me. Who have been to hell and back in their 17 years. I know that within the last two, I've dramatically changed into a completely different person. High school does that too us.

Why am I insecure? Like a lot of girls, I don't find myself pretty. I don't. At all. The thing about me, is I'm plus sized. Wanting to dive head first into the fashion industry isn't the way most girls like me..I guess..go. I wear what I want, and put on as much makeup as I please. That doesn't mean I'm confident. No person that I've ever met is 100% secure. And maybe, just maybe...that's what gives me, a confidence boost.

As I'm thinking of what to write in this post, I'm thinking of this research paper that I'm writing now in school, about causes and effects of teenage suicide. No, I'm not suicidal, so chill. But there are a lot of people who are. Did you know, that more than 60% of the teens in an average high school have thought about suicide, based on self image alone? When I read that fact, I became completely horrified. What if that 60% contained my best friend, my friends siblings, or simply people who I pass every day in the hallways? What if it was the girl at the table next to me, smiling and laughing, or the one crying with her friends around her? How can I tell?
Inside, I believe that I'm a very nurturing person, meaning really..I want to help everyone. These statistics scare me. I don't know, now I'm rambling. But, seriously. If anyone reading this ever needs anyone to talk to, even if I don't know you..please don't be afraid to talk to me..because I'm willing to listen.

I don't judge. That's the thing about me..the only person I truly find in my heart to judge is myself. I find that everyone loves. Everyone hurts. Everyone Lives. Everyone deserves to live, and breathe, and see the beauty in life. I don't understand why someone would want to leave this Earth so fast.

...But maybe that's just me.