TAG! YOU'RE IT.

Recently I was tagged on facebook in this post, so I tag anyone reading this to do it too!~

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 50 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you...

1. I have a birthmark on my left eye. It looks like Florida.
2. I recently got my puppy, his name is Copper..like in Fox in the Hound.
3. I never take off my Irish claddaugh ring.
4. My best friend lives far away, and we're closer now then ever.
5. I change my nail polish almost on a daily basis.
6. I love watching wrestling. WWE only, Monday night RAW.
7. I'm a Hills fanatic, along with Laguna Beach, Gossip Girl, and Law and Order; SVU.
8. I've completely memorized every single word to most Taylor Swift songs, on all of her cd's, demos..and covers.
9. I love going fishing.
10.I want a bunch of tattoos.
11.I want a few more pericings.
12.I go through phones like it's my job.
13.I can't find a job.
14.I'm failing math.
15.I've regained a lot of hope recently.
16.I would be lost without my sister.
17.I have every color of old navy flip-flops that they put out from before they changed the design of the recent pairs.
18.I sing, a lot.
19.I want to own and design for a plus sized trend clothing boutique someday.
20.I've never been in love.
21.I own over 40 nail-polishes.
22.My Grandma Carol is one of my biggest inspirations to get into fashion.
23.I want to travel the world, and see California.
24.I've never been on a plane.
25.My favorite place in the world is Lake Walenpaupak in Pennsylvania.
26.I can't crack my knuckles.
27.I've lost a ton of old friends recently, and I've never been better.
28.I'm a completely different person then I was 3 years ago.
29.I'll never read twilight.
30.I cried in the Hannah Montana Movie and the Sex and the City Movie.
31.I've read every Sarah Dessen book she's ever written.
32.I have never showed my best friends my driving permit.
33.I color on my bedroom walls.
34.I love country music, anything from Dolly Parton to Kenny Chesney, to Brooks and Dunn..to Miranda Lambert.
35.I'm a To Write Love on Her Arms advocate.
36.I'm extremely sarcastic, but I'd never want to truly offend someone.
37.My best friends are people I've known since I'm little, it's just the way it's happened.
38.I'm terrified of clowns, spiders, bugs, fights, and thunder.
39.When people say the word rape when referring to beating someone at a sport, game or anything..I get instantly mad, and disgusted.
40.I don't own any jeans anymore, I have 12 pairs of leggings.
41.I don't own sneakers, besides gym sneakers.
42.I haven't had a real haircut since 5th grade.
43.I'll never say I love you, unless I mean it.
44.I like you before I don't like you.
45.I see beauty in everything, and anything. I don't find anything ugly, and I feel sorry for people who do.
46.You'll never see me bullying anyone, ever.
47.One of my best friends and someone I love and trust my life with, is someone I've never even hugged.
48.I could never bring myself to hate anyone, ever.
49.I'm a complete geek. I carry a pencil bag in my purse that is full of highlighters, pens, pencils, sticky notes, and extra led.
50.My parents raised me with respect and class.

I felt infinite.

A really common question asked on a bunch of surveys I read, are the questions like..

- Where is your favorite place in the world?
- What makes you the happiest?
- When were you the happiest?

The answer to my question lies in the back roads of the east coast, and on a lake.
There was a night last summer that I'll never forget in my life. My sister, parents, and I, packed up my dads ford..a decided we'd go to my family's house in the Poconos. The house there is the answer to any question that is like..if you could go somewhere right now, where would you be. I always say that house. So we were on our way to that house, and you have to drive though no-wheres-land New Jersey and Pennsylvania to get there from New York. Those back roads that we take are beautiful. Absolutely, breathtaking to say the least.

It was night, and we were driving. Just got out of a two hour traffic jam on the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway..where we sat next to a garbage truck in about 97 degree, thick, humid, New York heat. Seeing open road was the breath of fresh air we all needed. I just remember that Free Falling came on, by Tom Petty. I remember staring out the window, and being the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. I don't know why. But I guess it was a mixture of the infinite beauty that surrounded me, the fact that I was with my family..and my Dad, who works all summer..and that Free Falling is the best song ever. I sat back and opened my window, loving every second of it. I didn't care what makeup I had on, or what I was wearing.

There is a line in the book " The Perks Of Being A Wallflower " that reads..." and in that moment, I felt infinite." That's the only way that I can describe how I felt.
I was alive. I had no cares. I was happy.

That's when I was my happiest. Whenever I go on that road, I put on free falling, and fall in love again.

just rambling.

I would say my life is basically normal. I live with my parents,( which can be considered abnormal because a lot of families are being broken by divorce..) my sister, my grandma, and my dog. I love school, I love learning..and I'm in love with every single one of my friends. If you know anything about me, it's that I generally believe that everyone has a good heart. I know that I try to. This post is going a little bit deeper into a side of me that I don't really like to talk about. It's the insecurities side of me. Now you're thinking, oh boy..a 17 year old girl who thinks she's ugly...here we go. That's the thing, have you ever listened? Once? At all? For a minute? You'd learn a lot from girls like me. Who have been to hell and back in their 17 years. I know that within the last two, I've dramatically changed into a completely different person. High school does that too us.

Why am I insecure? Like a lot of girls, I don't find myself pretty. I don't. At all. The thing about me, is I'm plus sized. Wanting to dive head first into the fashion industry isn't the way most girls like me..I guess..go. I wear what I want, and put on as much makeup as I please. That doesn't mean I'm confident. No person that I've ever met is 100% secure. And maybe, just maybe...that's what gives me, a confidence boost.

As I'm thinking of what to write in this post, I'm thinking of this research paper that I'm writing now in school, about causes and effects of teenage suicide. No, I'm not suicidal, so chill. But there are a lot of people who are. Did you know, that more than 60% of the teens in an average high school have thought about suicide, based on self image alone? When I read that fact, I became completely horrified. What if that 60% contained my best friend, my friends siblings, or simply people who I pass every day in the hallways? What if it was the girl at the table next to me, smiling and laughing, or the one crying with her friends around her? How can I tell?
Inside, I believe that I'm a very nurturing person, meaning really..I want to help everyone. These statistics scare me. I don't know, now I'm rambling. But, seriously. If anyone reading this ever needs anyone to talk to, even if I don't know you..please don't be afraid to talk to me..because I'm willing to listen.

I don't judge. That's the thing about me..the only person I truly find in my heart to judge is myself. I find that everyone loves. Everyone hurts. Everyone Lives. Everyone deserves to live, and breathe, and see the beauty in life. I don't understand why someone would want to leave this Earth so fast.

...But maybe that's just me.

Quick update :)

Hey everyone. If you live in New York, or at least on the entire east coast...you've probably been in a pretty good mood with the way the weather has been over the last few days. This time of year in New York, it's about 50 degrees, kind of rainy..just spring time weather..well...yesterday it hit 92 degrees. WHAT?! That is unheard of! Oh well, I love it.
So the weather has been making me happy, as said in this post and others, but there is one thing today that is bringing me down. I have, the worst.....migraine....ever. It's terrible. I couldn't even go to sleep last night and I had to stay home today! If you've ever had a tension migraine, you know what I'm talking about.

OH one last thing before I go. Today is April 8th, meaning it's the TOMS one day with out shoes day! And I am participating. The cause is to bring awareness and help show how much a simple pair of shoes can influence a life. Especially a child's. So if you haven't heard about it, the link is http://www.onedaywithoutshoes.com/..deffinitly, go check it out and participate!

AND GO ENJOY THIS WEATHER!

Back to basics.

So today, was the first day back to school after a 10 day spring break. Surprisingly, I did nothing this break of much importance to mention..note the sarcasm when I say surprisingly. Unlike a lot of 17 year old people, I enjoy going to school. I like to learn new things, and I like to be challenged. Today wasn't that hard..but when you put the rest of the year into months..we basically have April and May left. June is just a time for finals, testing..and saying goodbye to friends who are going off to college.
This year, my schedule gets cut short, around 11 o'clock. First period is gym, or on the opposite day..is a math lab. If you know me..you know my worst and most dreaded subject is math. I hate it. Hate is a strong word..and I strongly hate math. Second period, is math..again. My teacher speaks broken English, so for a girl who can barely understand the basics of math in English, imagine trying to learn trigonometry..in half Spanish. Third period is history..which I do enjoy very much. I've always been into learning about the past, and how people lived. Fourth is English. I love English because I have an incredible teacher, and I enjoy writing..as you can tell. Fifth period is basically nap time, or as the district calls it..Marine Studies. I learn about fish. Now..for a girl who wants to get into the fashion industry, I'm not very concerned with the internal structures of sea sponges. Sorry if you are, I cannot say the same. For the rest of the day, I'm at Cosmetology. I'm starting to really NOT enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I really..don't know why either. Hm..

I layed out today, because cosmetology was closed for the day..so I was able to soak up a few innings of the Mets home opener, and a couple good rays of sun.
It's beautiful here lately, and I'm loving every single second of it.

Summer loving, had me a blast.

Now, I'm a girl. I love mushy gushy love shit. Just like a lot of other 17 year old girls my age. But lately, I've been noticing in not only myself, but in others..there isn't a lot of love going around. People have been really rude lately. Maybe it's just New York. I don't really know?!

But anyway...

I really really really am excited for summer this year. A lot of things are going to be different this summer then the last few. For instance, I'm older. What? A year older doesn't change anything. BULL. Yes it does. I get to drive this summer. That means, I can drive myself to the mall, out to be with friends, and..to my ultimate favorite place. The beach. Now, I live on Long Island. Which is exactly what it is..not much to the imagination. It's just a long island off the eastern coastline..connected to New York by a few underlying tunnels and bridges. Summer here is like heaven for a girl who loves to lay out and enjoy the ocean. The sun literally sets around you. If you think about it, long island beaches face towards the south...do you get it yet? The way that we're faced, means that the sun moves from left to right over you..if you're facing the ocean of course. That ensures a beautiful, all over even tan. Which if you know me, tanning basically consumes my entire summer schedule.

Another thing that is wonderful about Long Island in the summer..is the face that you're surrounded by beaches. You go to the north shore, and you have the beautiful Port Jeff harbor, and Mt. Sinai Harbors, along with..Long Beach, Short Beach..and Cedar Beach. The only thing is, when you go to any north shore beaches, you better bring shoes..because they're pretty rocky. South Shore beaches on the other hand, have sand, amen. You have fire Island, Smith Point..and all the beaches associated with those two make up a pretty huge strip of the island. The further east you go, the closer you are to the Hamptons, which is something Long Island is known for. The Hamptons are where the rich go to play on their yachts in the summer. WHY? Because of the beauty. It's gorgeous..well..any beach is beautiful to me.

So basically, I'm excited for the waves, the changing of my own skin tone, and the heat this summer.

Spring Fever?

I'm realizing lately how completely head over heels in love I am with the spring weather. Over winter, everyone is cooped up in the house, in long sleeves and long pants and all bundled up. Once the first sense of spring hits the cool air, everyone gets caught up in the spring fever. I'm not saying that I don't get caught up in it..because once I see on the weather channel that it's going to be 50 degrees or above, I break out the Havianas (California style flip-flops =)) and sundresses. I'll soak up any sun that can cause a tan, or a burn.

The fashion trends for spring are usually very close from year to year with some exceptions. More now then ever, I've been realizing how many more females are dressing, well...like females. There are sundresses, EVERYWHERE..from Saks Fifth Avenue and the highest brand-name stores, to Target, Walmart..and Forever21. Dresses, along with flowing long tunic shirts, and high-waist skirts are filling the hallways of my suburban high school. The thing is, I'll wear a dress or skirt everyday, and I see no reason why that is a bad thing. I'm a girl, girls can wear beautiful spring dresses. It use to be such a bad thing..remember? If you were that girl wearing a dress in middle school, you were mocked. Well, I know girls who were.
I think that the trends consist of, pastel colored and floral..knee length and shorter dresses...along with the high waist skirts, which go all the way out when you spin..which I love.. and beautiful long tunics.

I definitely have spring fever. Lately, it's been so beautiful out..well..besides the like 20 inches of rain that fell over Long Island. Like today, it's Easter Sunday. It's usually cold here in New York..but today is different. You can smell the flowers starting to break out of the buds, and the breeze is warm. The sunshine is hot on your arms and face, and it feels like the end of May more than the first week in April..

Not that I'm complaining.